Duff and Martins.
Joe C’s conga revolution gathers pace, and to be fair it was the closest we got to them all afternoon.
The one true professional at the club at the moment. the one man performing to his potential. And showing that despite needing a little more sod on the fairway he still cuts it. How long before the great escape gets an airing.
So the hammerrettes go and what do we get ? this tosser, a fat Steve Lomas. And he did he have a long throw…did he fuck….boooooo bring back the hammerrettes.
Past and present or some other bollocks but Roeder assumes the position, and Pards all black ensemble leaves a lot to be desired. What has happened to him…..
Roeder just after his ill advised wave, I like the guy in the bottom right of the photo giving it the nescafe wave.
A few moments later and a couple of ‘irate fans’ try to get through the police…..and whats all this red jacket for a steward buisness, are these guys the new breed of steward, the uberstewards. I just didn’t realise there was a whole hiearchy of stewardship…
Tempers continue to fray until ameobi comes over to help his boss out.
Shit game, shit football, no hammerettes, Roeder taking the piss, a shit day all round.
Oh dear, we’ve upset the Mafia..only at West Ham eh ?…. Kens Cafe has upset the Mafia. You can just imagine in the deepest darkest depths of Sicliy. The family eating Momma’s meatballs, who is dis Ken ? He messa with us he messa with the family…
To explain in the biggest tack attack to hit East london since Skerrit turned up for the Chelsea game in his beaded necklace and diamante stud, the vendors outside Kens Cafe produced UEFA cup memorabilia that included a T-Shirt emblazoned with ’The Hammers vs the Mafia’.
You know the stalls with more tack than ACME (I love the ones that have a guy pissing on a spurs shirt,haha.. mental) but apparently everyone bar everyone, including the Italian embassy in London, has taken a massive exception. The Italians are enraged and Ken is no longer a made guy, expect Horses head with side order of bubble coming to a Green St cafe near you very soon.
But also, damn those swarthy handsome Italians, how do the Italians get away with it ? Nah not the diving, not the late tackles or constant time wasting but the fans wearing replica kit and still looking like they stepped out of a Kay’s Catalogue or some other top design house.
As we see every week, the claret blue polyester shirt clinging to a middle aged beer gut is not a great look although it has to be said it did win us Britains best dressed fans about 8 years ago( sponsored by ‘Take a break magazine’), but somehow the greasy wops can get away with it. Bastardo’s, and unfortunatley on the night fashion wasn’t the only thing we were taught a lesson in.
Make no mistake these Italians from Siciliy knew how to play. Combining superb organisation, solid defending and no little skill Palermo did the perfect away job on us (not like Stu i hasten to add). The expectation leading into this tie had been immense, only the 7th european cup campaign in our history added to the fact the Argies were gonna start meant the place was packed to ratfers. And you know you’ve got a massive game in prospect when they’ve asked Noel Edmonds to provide a double page spread in the revamped programme. Yep the Noel Edmonds. THE bloke from Radio Luxembourg.
Maybe the night was a bit too big for Pards and his crinkly bottom just went a little bit beforehand. His team selection seemed positive but the way the side set up was all wrong. Zamora played as a lone striker, Tevez and Yossi were given a licence to roam behind him and try and support at every opportunity. Bowyer, Reo and Mascherano were the supposed v8 engine in midfield. But the reality was nothing like this, Tevez became isolated on the left wing, Bowyer and Reo Coker looked lost and we never got any fluencey in our passing.
The commitiment and effort of the players could not be faulted, at times it looked as if we were trying too hard as passes went astray and niggly fouls were conceded. Tevez who had murked his hair for the occasion looked the most likely source of inspiration for us, his touch that almost put Bowyer in was the highlight of the first half, such subtle disguise and deftness of touch it belied his feral demeanour and he also came closest to breaking the deadlock for us.
Zamora’s tremendous left wing cross was met at the far post by the onrushing Tevez but it wasn’t the cleanest of connections and the keeper was given the chance to make the save. And it wasn’t long after that that Palermo scored. Cole and Sheringham the West ham subs were convinced the ball had crossed the line in the build up but ultimatley it was the quality of the final ball, a feature that was sorely lacking from our play, that produced the crucial goal for Palermo.
2nd half we were now in full voice, with a real pre menstral feel to the atmosphere, it was if we all had the decoraters in and the sharks sniffing. Each desicion was jeered and vitriol was released reaching its peak when the scuffle ensued in front of the BML. I just had to give the Italian keeper one of my looks…if he didn’t before he know knew he was in a cauldron.
But in all honesty we never looked like breaking down the stubborn Italian rearguard. Marlon came closest for us as he shinned one against the inside of the post. Pards made three subs bringing on Cole, Marlon and Ethers but all in vain, Etherington again provided much needed width but his final ball was shit and when he did his Italia Conte fall in the box, it was embarrsaing it was like when a bird overdramatiaclly collaspses in Dr Quinn Medicine Woman, just needed a hankie to his fore head as he went down. Doofus.
And that was about it, they were good, but not that good and its gonna be a massive game in Palermo. But I just get the feeling this will suit, expectation doused, Noel edmonds back in his box with a banker, 2000 fans massively up for it and no debate around tactics or formations. Gladiators are you ready, Metz, Ipswich playoff, Its on … trust me.
A Tevez hat trick. And Ken’s honoured preserved. Bring on the Italian Job !!!
Ratings
Roy the Boy - His best game of the season. Absolutley crucial save in the second half. Hopefully his form is on the up as win the UEFA cup…maybe. More of the same vs NUFC. 7
Mears - Now he was absoultley fucked in the second half. There were opportunities for him to bomb on but he was on his haunches looking like he was ready to blow biscuits. Defended ok but he looks like the first of Pards Champs siggings who is having trouble making the step up. Massive bloke and said before I think he’s a centre half. 6
Anton - All the talent in the world and already has the worlds best young player copying his hair cut. None of the back four are playing that badly but as unit we ain’t functioning as well. He looks the class act that he was last season, his aim for this season to become the leader IMO. 2 years ago they relied on Jimmy W, last year on Roy the Boy and Shaka… this year he has take on that mantle. 7
Gabbs - In the programme Collins reckons he’s the quietest memebr of the team. Bless him.tonight was his season all over, very good patches and then at other points losing concetration , forwards getting the wrong side of him and he’s looking uneasy. Scratching for form. 6
Konch - He was abysmal, worst distribution I’ve seen since Jason Avards decided he was gonna be a drug dealer in the 2nd year at school, he’d found an ounce in the park…and that was it. Konch can’t play any worse, one of those nights maybe ? 4
Reo Coker - What’s going on ? who are they to judge us simply cos we grow our hair long. He was dire again. Something must have happened afterwards at Liverpool or maybe I’m being too sinister, too much of a Mel Gibson when he played that cab driver Jerry Fletcher. Nige could simply be out of form or he could be mighty pissed at not being sold to Arsenal…who knows but the highbury slayer at present he ain’t. 5
Mascherano - I like him, I like him a lot but then I’m a sucker for a pretty touch and a fancy technique. He is a player that has all the time in the world, the game slows down when he’s in possesion and that is a sign of class, he is the heir apparent to Ian Bishop at last. Doubts of his ability in a midfield 4 but looks the real deal to me. 7
Bow - He needs to be in the thick of it. In this formation he looked lost and too much of the game went on around him. He did ok but hasn’t scaled the heights of his debut. 6
Yossi - Typical Yossi.Great endeavour, great moments of skill and touch but very little in the way of end product. When you really expect him to deliver on the edge of the box he just doesn’t do it consistently enough. But thats why he’s 2.5mil and not 10mil. Good effort just lacked that oh so important touch of composure. 7
Tevez - You gotta love him, for someone who has come with his reputation, with the adulation he has recieved throughout his career and at his age you have say he works his little fat nuts off. And purely for his attitude you have to applaud him, compare with the skulking Kanoute, the human cheesburger Camara, Sicknote Suker and you just soooo want him to be success. I so want him to score so badly I strain. I’m like that guy Claudio Paolo Pinto whos got a world record for this
8mm!! Unbelievable. Imagine he likes Edwin Starr, not sure mind.
Zamora - Crazy i know it, but just roll with me on this one.. but i thought this Bobby’s best game of the season. No mishit crosses into the net, no scuffed volleys that evade 36 defenders on the line. He moved well, he was brave and showed flashes of skill. Did alright, the menatlist joker in the camp, that he is. 6
So thats it the subs came on didn’t do alot bar hit the post, have a ruck with their keeper and completely change the flow of the game….kinda..well not really. btw where’s Teddy ?…I dunno we’ve got to find a way..to bring some loving here today…ooohh picket signs…
Chow Bella’s
